Nevermore

I am blessed with two children, and that’s the family I always dreamed of. But  it does seem like only yesterday that starting a family, being pregnant, the whole baby thing – well, it was all an adventure that lay ahead of me. And now, it’s all behind me.

And I think it’s OK to ponder on that, without everyone hollering “Ooooh do you want another one then?” No, I don’t. But yes, just sometimes, I feel a little wistfully sad that that phase of my life has gone by.

Nevermore

Nevermore the swell beneath my fingers,
Nevermore the flutters in my core,
Nevermore the secret smile that lingers.
Once, my womb bore nothing but potential,
Now it’s finished, done, inconsequential,
Nevermore to matter, nevermore.

Nevermore the sleeplessness that floors me,
Nevermore the ligaments so sore,
Nevermore the nausea that gnaws me.
Once, the humdrum hit a strange hiatus,
Once I was cocooned by special status,
I’ll nevermore be special, nevermore.

 

©️ Nina Parmenter 2018

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Shipwrecked Brain

This one’s for all the Mums who had their own mental battles to face when their baby was first born.

New motherhood is an onslaught on the brain. Your life changes drastically and permanently. You’re exhausted. You’re overwhelmed with questions, information and scrutiny. Nature has generously popped you into a “cow-like state” (not my words!!) in preparation for early motherhood. And to top that, you have a 25% chance of suffering post-natal depression.

To overcome these battles is extraordinary. You are warriors. And I salute you all. x

Shipwrecked Brain

When baby’s born, you’re meant to feel
a rush of love.
Hey, that’s the deal.

But sometimes…

Birth is blood and shock and pain
and steel. And when your shipwrecked brain
resurfaces, you realise –
the love
did not
materialise.

Instead, a claustrophobic fear
encloses you. This new career
cannot be given up, and yet
it’s tough –
as tough as life can get.

But…

Although you’re crazed with tiredness
and panic, you still nurture, kiss
and hold your child.
And deeply care.
The months go by…
Then love is there.

This hard-won tear-stained love you feel
was made by you.
And that’s unreal.

 

©️ Nina Parmenter 2018

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