Pampered Pussy

Depending on your way of thinking, you may be pleased or disappointed to hear that this isn’t a vajazzle poem (although what a terrific topic for a later date!) – it’s about an actual cat.

My beloved childhood cat Sidney was a soft old bugger. But sometimes he’d come over all “call of the wild” and be seized by the need to climb a tree. This was Not A Good Idea. The sight of him, splayed on top of a tree, the tree bending under his weight (he was massive), and him wondering what on EARTH just happened – that will stay with me forever.

God love him. Somewhere beneath that cute, cuddly exterior was a petulant, prowling prairie cat and sometimes, that petulant, prowling prairie cat just had to come out.

Pampered Pussy

They call me pampered pussy,
“Such a PRETTY pet!” they purr,
All they see’s a funny feline,
Just a friend with fluffy fur.

Hear me humans! I AM HUNTER!
I am leopard, lynx and lion,
I am panther, I am puma,
I will eyeball you with iron!
I’m machine. A mighty muscle,
I am sleek and sinewed steel,
Engineered by evolution,
You are nothing! You should kneel!
Shhh now. I will show you.
See the tremble in that tree?
It’s a beast and I will best it!
Stand aside now, scum, and see.

I creep.
I crouch.
I climb!
Curled
claws
clutching
confidently,
cleverly
crafted
curves
completely
coordinated,
I coast
coolly,
competently,
courageously,
to the crown.
THE CREATURE
IS CONQUERED!!
Now – cower,
clumsy
cretins!
For
I
am
CAT
!!!!!!

(Quick question.
How DO I get down?!)

 

©️Nina Parmenter 2018

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